What if...

...those little things that you just did are the last time they ever happened?


a lil note

It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss

Not exactly started with a kiss, but whatever.
Ending a status with a person doesn't necessarily mean that ending any possibility to be an acquantaince.
But when you start to do things that annoy not only me but also my surrounding,

...just back off, will you?


a passing by thought

"kakak kalo udah gede mau jadi apa?"
"loh kok insinyur? Gak mau jadi dokter aja gitu?"
"gak. pokoknya mau jadi insinyur"

div's words even before she really knew what an engineer is. entah, mungkin ulterior motive terbesar div bilang begitu adalah untuk ngebuktiin bahwa gak semua insinyur seburuk dia.

and now she is an engineer. uhm well, a bachelor of science in materials engineering. sayangnya sekarang lulusnya dapet tambahan S.T. di belakang, bukan Ir. kayak yang dulu dicitacitain. but this will do too.

as far as she knows, being an engineer is her dream. and after she achieved that, she feels kinda...lost.

so now, she lists all of her major targets, and aiming her life to meet her own expectation toward herself.


katanya sih

this post is a whining post.

but first, selamat idul fitri for all who celebrates. Another year has passed, and hopefully still many years to come.

hoke, time to whine.

jadi sebenernya frase "orang indonesia itu ramah" didapet dari mana sih? even things that i consider as common courtesy are not considered normal here, such as holding the door if there's a person right behind, or asking properly when one needs a hand, or saying "please", " thank you" once here or there. ramahnya di mana? sama siapa?  di tempat yang banyak orang liat? ke orang yang influenced many people? ke bule? ke atasan? atau kalo lagi butuh aja?

because i, sebagai salah satu bagian dari orang indonesia, ga ngerasa sebagai orang yang ramah, but those common courtesy? selalu diusahain buat dilakuin, tapi most of the times i don't think i've got those "ramah" gestures.

So instead of indonesia orangnya ramah-ramah, bukannya lebih pas kalo ditambah ramah kalo butuh?


staying put

tend to be the worst nightmare when life's too good to be true

with an abundant of tasks waiting to be finished, div's mind keeps wandering aimlessly to anywhere but there.

Then those words popped.

div's ability to ruin things when they start to run smoothly.
div is a planner. when the said plan is ready to be started, that means div's time there is over.
if there seems like no possible way out, div will instinctively do whatever it takes to get out of it.
div and stability don't belong in a same phrase.
div's way to get some comfort shifts erratically.
up til now the only person who could keep up is herself.
because long, long time ago, a little shift in her world means moving to places she didn't plan to.
so it's better for her to make her life planned to be unstable by herself.


the art of losing

Sometimes it just feels better to give in
It's alright, i'm okay, i think god can explain
In a perfect world, this could never happen
All we know is distance, we're close and then we run
Thinking of the days spent without you, and there's nothing left to prove
Is it over yet? Will I ever feel again?
If you only knew what I went through just to get to you
Brake light glare my blank stare tells what I'm about
I need you to ruin me for this, finally, 'cause it's burying me
And my worst pains are words I cannot say, still I will always fight on for you
Rather than fix the problems, they never solve them, it makes no sense at all