2015/03/14

do you have any flashlight? cause i think i need one.


"Tell me where does it hurt"
"Everywhere"


I like to observe.
Seeing the way people tell their thoughts,
their passions,
their dreams, 
their day, 
or even just reading something out loud.
I like to imagine what it was that make anyone does what (s)he did,
and having lots of theories on my mind,
making it stopped thinking about myself.
Drowned in others' thoughts, that's comforting.

More than anything, i love my own solitary moments.

But there came a point,

yeah, I've came to bunch of points til this day,
a point where I thought maybe, just maybe, speaking up my own voice won't be a burden.
My thoughts deserve the same place as others'.
It was okay to ask to be listened.

Then I did,
I started to open up.
It was fine, somehow,
but I still prefer my own solitude.
I still hold some of me for myself.

That night, on my way back,
Suddenly I wanted to share all of my darkest thoughts and urges to you,
Is it normal to always imagine how does it feel to fall from somewhere so high? will it hurts?
how does it feel when a knife touched my vein? with all those blood?
how does it feel crashing my car? hard? lethal?
how does it feel to just be....gone?

But that night,
that very night,
was the time you shut me out.

So, how does it feel?

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