2014/11/13

life's all fun and game.... then we grow up.

Nulis judulnya udah dari taun lalu, niat ngisinya baru sekarang, padahal udah bulan februari.

Sampe sekarang dan sepertinya seterusnya dan udah sering gue bilang, I despise changes. Constant and logical things are my source of energy. Tapi kan ya juli kemaren kekonstanan yang gue miliki dirampas gitu aja di sabuga. Pengangguran dua bulan, then there's what I call a hell-ish situation came.

Div kuliah magister.

Pindah dari bandung ke bintaro? Check.
Tinggal literally sendirian karena adek-adek ngekos di bandung-nangor dan mama pindah kerja ke cianjur? Check.
Nyetir sendiri bintaro-menteng padahal dulu ke senayan aja anti soalnya jauh? Check.
Ketemu dan kenalan sama orang yang sama sekali baru di kampus? Check.
Belajar mata kuliah yang sebagian-amat-besar baru gue tau ada gunanya? Check.

Things changed.
The past me maybe would froze, not able to process anything. And fundamentally, til now, those facts're still haunting my waking moment.

But I won't.
I can't freeze at all.
I mustn't.

So at some point, I just barely give a shit.

2014/07/11

Lima tahun itu bukan waktu yang singkat.

Finally gue lulus kuliah. Done. Sampun.
Kalo ngisi apapun, pendidikan terakhir udah bukan SMA, mehehehe.

Besok pagi gue wisuda. Seneng? Well, obviously, i've graduated from one of perguruan tinggi bergengsi di Indonesia. But there's another completely different feeling that i feel for some times since after my thesis defence.

Sedih. Banget.
Itu yang gue rasain belakangan ini. Di tengah euphoria hore-akhirnya-gue-udahan-kuliahnya, gue sedih. Lima taun gue ngabisin waktu gue di kota ini, di jalan ini, di kampus ini, dan suddenly, semuanya itu udah bukan privilege yang gue punya. Eventhough i already have my life planned, tapi berasa ada yang ilang. Lima taun itu bukan waktu yang sebentar, but time flies while you're enjoying it. Academically, gue tertatih-tatih. There are times when i feel like giving up. But i don't. Karena di kampus, di jurusan, i've found my new family. Himpunan yang banyakan bikin gue makan ati but i find comfort there. Dan hampir di akhir masa kuliah disini, i've found another source of comfort. The one who keeps waiting when i was soooo oblivious of his affection towards me. Then, life was just like a blur. Tiba-tiba besok gue udah wisuda. Perasaan baru kemaren gue buka pengumuman diterima di fakultas, terus setahun setelahnya senewen IPK 1,1, sibuk osjur, ngulang iniitu, jadi sekretaris panitia osjur, ketua wisuda, logistik mmfair, akhirnya superstaff, jadi penanggungjawab sementara mentri msda...uhm well ternyata emang banyak hal yang udah terjadi. Lima taun.

I feel i've been changing and being the same person as i was at the same time.
I feel like refusing the fact that this part of my life here is done while i also feel excited to start another journey somewhere else.
I hate to say goodbye to this campus. I hate not being a student here anymore.
I'm glad i've learnt lots of things these past five years. I regret those things i failed to learn.

But on top of all these mixed feelings,
Hai mama, besok yin jadi bawa mama ke sabuga loh. :)

2014/03/20

Hai kamu

There's never been a day goes by without me feeling blessed to have you.

You tolerate my sudden moodfalls, your presence brings smile and comfort to me.

Yah, biasa, mendadak kepikir aja. While seeing your sleeping face di sofa kosan. Sempetsempetnya ngupil pula pas tidur gini, pffft. By the way, coba itu belt cepet ganti sih melorot mulu pas tiduran kasian ntar masuk angin, kalo ndut lagi ga bawa jaket gimana nyelimutinnya coba?

But hey, until now i never even once get tired to see your face, the one yang bakal diliatin tiap hari, seenggaknya at the beginning and the end of the day. Entah dengan posisi garuk perut, kentut atau sendawa sembarangan, or my fav one, pas lagi serius nyetir.

I love watching all your expressions, all your moves, listening to your voice, sniffing your scent.

Safely to say, i think i love all of you.
(Uhm, maybe the scratching and farting, not so much.)

2014/02/08

Today is february the eighth. In a few hours it'll be half past three.

That time, two months ago.
Baru dua bulan ya? Mau bilang udah dua bulan, tapi jalan kita masih panjang, pinginnya, hehe.

Mau berisik sms, tapi hpnya lagi dicharge kan? Which means it will feel like as if i'm texting sama tembok. Apa bedanya sama ngetik disini? Gatau, mendadak pengen aja ngeblog.

I am blessed. To know you. To have you. To adore you.

Am writing this as a kind of attempt to make me fall asleep. Asa ada yang kurang jadi gabisa tidur. Iyah, kurang ngebikinin kopi item sama being hugged, with the giant who can kissed my forehead tanpa jinjit.

It's only been two months, but i am already addicted with your nearness.

Hai kamu, thank you for waiting for me even when i was completely unaware :)

(The moment i published this, the boy texted. Mari kita pindah ke sms aja~)